I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel like abortions should bother me more
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
