Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
