you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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