I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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