There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
