I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
