Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
