...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
