Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
