I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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