New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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