adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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