She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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