If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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