You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
