last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
