rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
