just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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