Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
