You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
