you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
