I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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