Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
