I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
