puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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