The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
