no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
