he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
