bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
