its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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