Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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