Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
