The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize