it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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