the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
