its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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