She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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