I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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