If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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