Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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