Nicole vs. Life
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
