Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
