Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
