hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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