i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
