??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
