Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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