Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
