anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
