We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
