my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
