I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
