Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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