She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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