You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
